"Donna!"
The bellow was followed by a crash from Josh's office, which in turn was followed by another bellow. "Donnatella Moss!"
"Do you know how ridiculous you sound when you do that?"
"Do what?"
"You bellow my name and then you knock things off your desk and then you bellow my full name."
"I do not bellow."
"You bellow, Josh! You're like, 'Donna! Donna!'"
"Okay -- don't ever do that."
"Do you ever wonder how annoying it would be if I summoned you that way?"
"You do summon me that way."
Donna sighed. "Well, I don't throw things."
"I don't throw things."
"Josh --"
"I do not throw things, Donna. I'm not eight years old. I ... scoot them."
Donna met his gaze, then rolled her eyes and started to gather up the papers Josh had scooted off his desk. "What do you need?"
Josh waved at the television. "What happened to the show?"
"What show?"
"My show. The one I was going to watch tonight."
"The sports one?"
"Yeah."
"Preempted."
"For what?"
Donna stopped organizing and faced him. "For the President."
"For the address?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"'Cause it's important!"
"I know."
"It's a big thing!"
"I know! Just --"
"What?"
"It's important to everyone?"
"Yes!"
"But ... I'm so sick of it now."
Donna planted her hands on her hips and stared at Josh. "You spent three months pushing this bill."
"Yes."
"It's a controversial bill."
"Yes."
"There were demonstrations."
"Yes."
"Protests."
"Yes."
"Rallies."
"Yes."
"It's going to pass."
"Yes."
"Half an hour ago you were doing your freaky little dance of joy because it's going to pass."
"Yes."
"And now you're bored."
"Yes."
"You are too eight years old."
"Well ... okay."
"Move to Canada."
Josh blinked. "What?"
"Move to Canada. They're not broadcasting the national address in Canada."
"Yes, Donna; if they were, we would have to change the name of it from the national address to the ... I don't know, the something else address."
Donna stared at him. "Your broad vocabulary, Josh, is made even more stunning by the eloquence with which you present it," she deadpanned.
"Wait." Josh suddenly took in what she had said. "The Canadians are watching my show?"
"Yes."
"How come the Canadians get to watch my show and I don't?"
"Because the Canadians didn't spend the last three months passing an enormously important bill."
"Are you sure?"
"Josh --"
"I'm just saying, Donna. You don't work in the Canadian government. You never know what kind of --"
"Please shut up." She started to leave.
"You don't want to underestimate Canada. Where are you going?"
"Vive le Canada, Josh."
"What was that?"
Donna turned to face him again. "You're really bad with languages, aren't you?"
"Well, I wouldn't say that. I can use a little sign language, you know."
"Half the alphabet and a couple of useless phrases?"
"...I'd say that's accurate."
"You're kind of sad sometimes, Josh."
"Shouldn't it be 'viva'?"
"What?"
Josh waved a hand. "'Vive-whatever-it-was. Shouldn't it be 'viva'?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because that's incorrect."
"'Viva Las Vegas'?"
"That's Spanish," Donna said. "I'm using French."
"Because it was one of your many minors."
"Shut up." Donna turned to leave again.
"Donna!" Josh whined.
"What?"
"Do something!"
She faced him again. "What would you have me do, Joshua?"
He shrugged. "Entertain me."
"Josh!" Donna growled.
"I was looking forward to the show!" he whined.
"Yes, I know. Do you know how I know?"
"Because I mentioned it eight hundred thousand times today, and you're on the verge of killing me?"
"Because you mentioned it eight hundred thousand times today, although that pales in comparison to the two hundred sixty four million times you mentioned this bill, which is a huge bill, and has been your top priority for the last three months, giving you barely enough time to take a breath, let alone actually go home or eat lunch, and you've been totally devoted to it and yesterday it looked like it might not pass, but today, out of the blue, you got the confirmation you needed, and the whole country has been following this, and the President is talking about it on national television in fifteen minutes, and now you're going to sit here and complain about the sports show?"
Josh looked at her with a serious expression. "Wow."
"What?"
"I was watching closely, and I've got to say -- it's amazing to me how you didn't take a single breath during all of that."
Donna growled again. "Josh!"
Josh shrugged. "I've got to complain about something. Better this than your handwriting."
Donna stared at him for a long moment, then turned and walked away. "Viva Canada," she muttered under her breath, and Josh laughed and changed the channel.
~Sary
13 December 2000