Remedial Sports Night 100

This is a course for ABC execs. If you are an ABC exec, have someone read this aloud to you. If you are not an ABC exec, read this aloud to an ABC exec. Thank you. ~Management

*Aaron Sorkin's writing talents were sculpted by a technician very close to God.

*You don't cancel a show that has higher ratings than many of the shows you choose to renew.

*Sports Night had higher ratings than many of the shows you chose to renew.

*There are a lot of people in the world. And I'll kill them all if I see one more rerun of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

*Bring back Sports Night if you want to pass the final.

X-Files 1013

Did you know that . . .

. . . all lies lead to the truth?
. . . Mulder loves Scully?
. . . Scully loves Mulder?
. . . I am a hopeless and incurable relationshipper where the X-Files is concerned?

These are just a few of the things that you learn when your favorite college course is taught on Sunday nights at 9. X-Files 1013 is designed to teach that stubborn yet advanced and brilliant yet pigheaded student who believes in such things as aliens and the ultimate evil of cigarette smoke.

Conversational English 100

This is a remedial course for those of us who forget how to speak once we reach college. Topics covered in the class are:

*What is the meaning of the word "work"?
*What is the pronunciation of "element"? (Hint: It is not "elephant")
*The true beauty of telemununications, and what NAB means if you slip it around.
*Sign language for those who don't know sign language (or: telephone does not always mean telephone)
*How not to say things you wish you'd never said
*Never speak after ten p.m.

Work in the field included studying college students Sarah and Ann as they attempted to carry on a normal conversation at 10:01. The result? The pursuit of capturing odd-shaped stains on film.

**NOTE: Both Ann and Sarah have benefitted from a rigorous program of evaluation and therapy. They are now allowed to speak. But not to each other. For facts from this study, visit the results page, posted on Ann's site: FILL IT WITH DUCKS: A study of what happened when Ann and Sarah spoke