Sports Lessons

If I were a dean, my college would teach ...

Course: Lessons From Sports Night

Section: SN
Number: 101
Professor: Sorkin
Time: MTWHFSU 01:00 - 23:59
Description: A study of the importance of Sports Night on our daily lives and cultures.

Prerequisites: ABC-bashing proficiency

Week One: Icebreaker -- Stuart Bloomberg Dart Throw

Week Two: Chapter One -- Hearts, Happiness, and Helsinki

Week Three: Chapter Two -- Geography I (New Guinea, New Delhi, and the Carnegie Deli)

Week Four: Athletics -- Garbage Can Basketball

Week Five: Chapter Three -- The ABCs of Watching NBC

Week Six: Chapter Four -- Geography II (Paris, Chicago, Seattle, Tokyo, and St. Barts)

Week Seven: Algebra -- 15 years - 1 divorce + 2 hearts - 6 months does not equal never!!

Week Eight: Final Exam:

1. Where is Helsinki? (Hint: It is in neither Sweden nor Switzerland.)
2. What happens in cricket? (Hint: They wear white, they _______)
3. Why would anyone buy a cable channel and dump the programming? (Hint: they strip in public.)
4. Who's stupid? (Hint: Stuart Bloomberg.)
5. What do you do when you trip on a threshhold? (Hint: Think "polite"!)

Thank you for taking our course! Your final grade? D! Why? Because I don't like using the letters "A", "B", or "C"!!!

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