THE SPORTS NIGHT CREW

"I love doing Sports Night. I live from eleven to midnight, and the
rush is so huge I don't come down till three o'clock in the morning."


Characters property of ABC and Aaron Sorkin. No infringment intended.
DANA WHITAKER is the executive producer of the live TV show "Sports Night." Simultaneously driven, charming, and crazier than any ten people Casey knows, Dana runs the show and makes a lot of the decisions. Dana is in love with Casey, and they're at a standstill after a long, strange attempt at romance. Since this series no longer airs, it is up to the authors of fanfic to decide what happens next, and I, for one, have decided that they're married. Or at least going out for coffee once in a while.

Quotes:

"Ladies and gentlemen, Thespis has left the building!"

"I'm okay with birds doing anything you tell them to."

"Whoa, there, Huckleberry, come on back to the stable. First of all, Sally doesn't have any professional acumen, and second of all, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Not me. I think your job stinks. You get to create your own show and make all the decisions and have a big staff and make a lot of money. That's not for me, Isaac. I like to answer to people. I don't want to create. When I get a thought in my head, I like it to die right there."


Dana answers to ISAAC JAFFEE, the show's managing editor. Isaac, an accomplished journalist who worked on newspapers for 23 years, came out of retirement when a cable sports division was started within Continental Corps. Isaac is a brilliant gentleman who wishes Dan had been his mother. His ability to use words parallels NASA's ability to land anywhere in the universe.

Quotes:

"I want to hear some chatter out there."

"Oh, I know all about his problems. You know, the network knows about his problems, too. As a result of which, they become my problems and I'm saying that, at the very most, I want them to be your problems."

"If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people! If you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you!"

"Did a big frozen turkey fall down on the anchor desk during the last commercial?"


Casey and Dan are the anchors of the show. CASEY McCALL has been Dana's friend for 16 years, and it's easy to assume that he's been in love with her for just as long. He married her best friend Lisa, from whom he is now divorced. Casey's head is a perfect rectangle, and he's very good at predicting picks for Draft Day. From urging his son Charlie to watch an athlete break a record to insisting on staying in New York and refusing to take Charlie out of school, Casey is the best father in the world.

Quotes:

"So don't adjust that dial, and while we're gone, if any talking animals ask you to buy some tacos or beer -- for God's sake, do what they tell you."

"We're just getting started here on Dan and Casey's Dance Fever."

"I really don't want to go out on a date, and there's no question that there's a way to look at this that makes it appear a lot like a date. Plus it's a double-date, and it's a blind date, on top of which, let's not forget, it's a date, so there's about three different ways this thing is bad."

"We're not going to have a good show! We're gonna have a terrible show! Dana, you've either got to stand over that woman's shoulder or you have to call everyone in the Pacific time zone and tell them I'm not really like this."


DAN RYDELL is easy-going and fun when he isn't outraged about an Internet poll or undergoing a nervous collapse or forgetting that he slept with someone in Spain. Just a note, though -- whether or not he slept with you in Spain, he would never make a fool of you.

Quotes:

"Yeah, there's a big fire, Casey. That's why I'm saying 'Uh oh' and 'Mmm'."

"On the entire planet, have you ever seen anyone with eyes like that? She's a Steppford Producer!"

"Our producer, Dana Whitaker, is asking me to fill for 15 seconds, but I honestly don't have anything to say. She's begging me now. Now she seems pretty mad. You'd all like her a lot if you met her. And that's 15 seconds. Casey?"


NATALIE HURLEY is the senior associate producer at Sports Night. At 26, she hasn't made up her mind about what kind of people she likes to spend time with -- but she has learned with whom she wants to spend a large portion of her time. Natalie and her boyfriend Jeremy are back on good terms, where they belong.

Quotes:

"I hate Jeremy's breathing guts, but I love him like I've never loved anyone."

"Yes, I did, Wonder Boy, and after the show I'm going to kill myself. Why don't you go play some tennis with your friends?"

"I like it when you fix it. It's so cute and nerdy. I could just lick you up."

"I know that, Jeremy, I was sitting here having sex all by myself!"

"This is you and me, Dana! This is our little coven of women!"


Natalie's boyfriend JEREMY GOODWIN is a brilliant computer nerd who can pull a 30-second fill from nowhere. Jeremy can't drink eggnog, yet he can rewire a computer to do nothing but vote in an Internet poll. Despite a scare with the panic button, he can also triumph over Y2K computer problems. He likes (or at least he eats) spaghetti and meatballs after work. Jeremy says excuse me to thresholds when he trips on them.
Quotes:

"I want you to trust me right now. I want you to say to yourself, "Yeah, I've dated a string of jerks in my life. They were stupid, they were mean to me, but maybe this one's different. Maybe I should take a chance and not adopt the 'break up with him before he breaks my heart' strategy. I want you to remember that when I started liking you, I didn't stop liking tennis. And I want you to know that I don't think there's a woman in the world that you need to be threatened by, no matter how glamorous you think she is. But mostly, I want you to trust me, just once, when I tell you that you have three sevens, and I have a straight."

"But if you're asking me for genuinely sophisticated analyses -- and I sense that you are! -- You're going to have to give me some time. At least twenty minutes."

"Hey, if we're going to fight, can it not be about Henny Youngman?"



KIM, ELLIOT, CHRIS, WILL, and DAVE round out a crew of devoted sports journalists responsible for keeping New York and the rest of the country informed about sports around the world.

Kim quote: "It didn't 'happen', Danny; I've never been your secretary."

Elliot quote: "I prefer 'assistant.'"

Chris quote: "I thought there was something really wrong with her."

Will quote: "You know someone named Judy Rootie Tootie?"

Dave quote: " Hey, Betty, Wilma. Is Seattle on the tape? "


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